


I Hate That I Love You

by WishingIHadSocks



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Angst, College AU, F/M, M/M, Modern AU, Moral Gray Area, Pining, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 16:42:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4673957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishingIHadSocks/pseuds/WishingIHadSocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire is madly in love with Enjolras. After spending months of only hearing of the walking God but never quite seeing, his final introduction begins a spiral of all consuming love. But what could be worse than being madly in love with the hottest boy in college, who leads student protests and casually gets arrested every other weekend? Oh, right, the fact that Enjolras is his twin sister's boyfriend. Grantaire must suppress his love, despite their chemistry, if he wishes to keep the only other person he's ever loved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Hate That I Love You

**~~~~**

Grantaire is tuning his guitar, the warm noise of the strings, filtering through his dim room and mingling with the fading paint fumes from the fresh paint on his canvas. The tell-tale patter of running feet disturb the melody he’s singing softly, he stops and sighs. Placing his guitar in the stand by his bed he prepares for the whirlwind of interruption that was due to arrive. As his twin sister bursts into the room Grantaire wonders why sharing nine months in a womb together was not enough for her. The door bangs loudly against his poster-clad wall the girl grins in a way Grantaire has always found slightly manic. “Guess who I just fucked?” She asks.   
            “You know how sometimes people say we’re a little too close?” Grantaire replies “It’s because of conversations like this.” He stands from his bed, not bothering to straighten the duvet, and walks to his windowsill. He fishes out a carton of cigarettes, throws open his window and before lighting it turns back to his sister “So, are you going to tell me?” the cigarette hangs loosely from his lip. She tosses him a lighter from her pocket and sits opposite him on the ledge.   
            “Do you know Enjolras? He’s crazy intelligent and, like, wickedly hot?” She leans forward and plucks the now-lit cigarette from his mouth. Grantaire shakes his head whilst lighting up again. Despite the alarming number of mutual friends and the fact that Enjolras was apparently the only thing people knew to talk about, Grantaire had yet to see or meet the guy.  He was beginning to think he was nothing more than legend, a god walking amongst mortals that only the privileged sighted. As far as Grantaire knew, Enjolras was a perfect specimen with perfect grades a terrifying passion for justice and more arrest records than Grantaire had paint stains. If he was honest, he sounded like a fun guy. Who was now apparently boning his sister.  
            “Well anyway,” she continues her story “We got paired up for this fracking debate and we were planning at his house. Anyway, we were pretty good friends before right? And Eponine said that Jehan heard from Courfeyrac that Enjolras was into me, and obviously I’m into him. So we are at his house and we’re sat on his bed and then I started ranting about how stupid fracking is because we went to that protest last month remember? And I started really getting riled up and that’s apparently the same as expressing an interest in sucking his dick or something because the next thing I know I’m being pushed into the sheets and we’re kissing!” Grantaire admires her ability to speak at the speed of light and lace every conversation with just too much information.   
            “Please can I stop you there?” He interrupts. “Look, Annie, I love you and you _know_ that we have an obscenely close relationship but sometimes, _sometimes_ , I don’t need to know every detail.” He presses the hand not holding his cigarette into his temple before smiling at her.   
            “True, sometime I forget you’re my brother.” Annie blushed slightly before taking a drag, “Long story short we ended up having fantastic sex and then we talking about our feelings and stuff…” She grinned at her brother when he groaned loudly.   
            “So are you two a thing now or something?”  
            She shrugs her shoulders and tips her head back “I think so.” She says through a puff of smoke “We’re just taking it slow, going to date for a little while before making anything official.”  
            Grantaire snorted “Taking it slow? You had sex and you’re not even dating!” he laughed. “Do I get to meet him though? As the big brother I am required to meet any boy that penetrates my younger sister.”   
            “Ew ok now you’re being gross. And you’re like, ten minutes older.” She stood up from where she sat and tossed her cigarette out the window.   
            “The point still stands.” He says as he follows suit and begins ushering her out of the room. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy his sisters company but he enjoyed solitude just a little bit more. 

 

It’s three weeks later and Grantaire is practically pulling his hair out over the fact he still had not met Enjolras. ”I’m telling you, he doesn’t exist. The day I meet the famous Enjolras will be the day that angels fall from the sky.” He tells Cossette during art, his only explanation on how he’s managed to get so far into the school year without so much of a glimpse.  
            “He exist Grantaire you just have poorer luck than Bossuet. Look, Marius and I are going to his debate thing tomorrow, you should come and watch him in action.” Cossette offered. She pours glitter over what she was painting and blows it off. When she reveals it to Grantaire it reads ‘MARIUS’ in cursive over a page of sketched roses.   
            Grantaire raises an eyebrow. “Really? You two make me sick.” He laughed when she shrugged and tucked it away into her sketch book. She really did draw the best flowers Grantaire had ever seen, even if she insisted in defiling them with various statements such as ‘Pontemercy’ or ‘Lovebird’  
            “Tomorrow, second period.” She says as she stands and the teacher dismisses the class. She tucks the book into her satchel and leans over to close the piece Grantaire was working on.  
            “Second? Shit I can’t I’ve got Classics.” He groaned.  
            “Seriously. Worse luck than Bossuet.” And with that the golden haired girl disappeared through the door leaving Grantaire to wonder if the debate would be worth skipping his class.

 

The day after Grantaire decided it was totally worth skipping the only enjoyable class of the day to watch the debate. Unfortunately Simon, his teacher, caught him slipping down the hall way and herded him back into the class room. Grantaire was beginning to think that Cossette was right about his luck.   
            An hour into the class two girls sheepishly entered the room. The teacher stopped and asked them why they were so late. “Well you see…” the first started.   
            “We went to see the Les Amis debate but Angela Davies shut it down! Can you believe? The head of sixth form personally shut it down!” the other butted in.   
            Grantaire was more than aware of the often disastrous endings that the debate team’s events usually ended in, but for the head of sixth form to personally shut it down. Well Grantaire was practically dying to meet this Enjolras now.   
            “What was it about?” he asked his classmates over the raised voice of his teacher.  
            “The homophobic tendencies of the college. You know, like how they refuse to showcase anything that LGBTA related.” One replied, he thinks she’s called Sally but he wasn’t overly sure if that was true. He nodded anyway and burrowed his brow in thought.  
            “Hey isn’t your Annie seeing him?” piped up a boy from the other side of the class. Grantaire resented the way people referred to her as ‘his’. Before he could reply the other girl, Possible Sally, spoke.   
            “Yeah, they’re a real cute couple. Oh I so wish I were her.”  
            “I so wish I was him, I mean have you seen the pair on her?” The boy said to the guy sitting to his right. Making hand gestures to reassure he was thinking of her breasts, should anyone be confused.   
            “Okay Scott. That’s my sister. Don’t push it.” Grantaire warned. Shooting the boy a look that people knew better to push. Grantaire could have a short temper and several boys at college could vouch for his right hook. Scott apologised and the class resumed.

Bitterly disappointed at his infortune in meeting Enjolras, Grantaire settles for observing his sister closely for the next week. He notices how she begins to French braid her lilac hair and wear a red and gold woven bracelet around her wrist. Something he knew for certain she had not owned before. He notices the spring in her step and the overall ‘American Teen Romance Movie’ vibe she gives off in waves. Grantaire wanted to hold it against her new boyfriend for the way she was changing, but knew that regardless to the fact they were seemingly spending less time together, she was happy. He didn’t bring up the subject of meeting the family until exactly a week after the debate when Annie crept into his room.  
             “What the fuck are you doing An? It’s, like, 1am.” He groans groggily as she shakes him awake. He rubs his eyes and sits up.  
            “I just wanted to talk. I feel like we hardly talk.” She says, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I know I’ve been busy with Enjolras and his friends and we were at ‘Ferre’s tonight and Joly mentioned you and I suddenly felt really home sick.” She tugs the oversized red hoodie over her hands. Something else he must’ve given her, Grantaire notes. He could understand why his sister was so upset. It was rare the two of them would socialise alone for so long. As much as he valued his independence, only seeing Annie at meal time and the car ride to college was starting to feel like missing a hand. He shimmies to the other side of the bed and flips open his covers and pats the mattress next to him. She clambers over his legs and settles into the bed, just like they have since they were two.   
            “An, you know I don’t take it personally.” He sooths, “We occasionally run in separate circles. You know this happens every time one of us dates.”  
            “Yeah but usually we know them. You don’t know Enjolras! You know his entire group but him! I really want you to meet him ‘Taire, I value your opinion more than our dads.” She explains, tugging the braids from her hair and yanking the curls free.   
            “That’s because our father is an idiot, let’s be honest.” The two chuckle quietly. “Bring him home tomorrow. I’ve been dying to meet him.”  
            “It’s probably about time. I’ll ask him tomorrow but I’m sure he will, he’s been dying to meet you too.” She climbs out of the bed and ruffles Grantaire’s hair “Be nice though.”  
            He mumbles a “When am I not?” as he rolls back onto his side and the door clicks shut.

 

Sure enough the next day, when Grantaire has finished dropping Jehan off after college, he arrives home to the sight of both his parents sitting in their rather large living room. On the sofa opposite them sits Annie and a boy he’s never seen before, but makes an educated guess as Enjolras.   
            “Oh, Yves you’re finally home!” His mother greets, leaping from her seat and kissing his cheek. His father stands up too and so do his sister and Enjolras. It all feels far too formal for him.   
            “Mother, Father.” He replies before turning to face the tall blonde at the other side of the room. “You must be-“  
            “Julien Enjolras.” Enjolras, or Julien, introduces himself, his arm outstretched. Grantaire shakes his hand firmly and does a quick once over. He’s tall and wearing the red jumper Annie wore the night before. His hair looks as though it’s been spun from gold and his eyes seem to pierce Grantaire. He remembers the words he spoke to Cossette the week before: _“The day I meet the famous Enjolras will be the day that angels fall from the sky”._ Looking at him Grantaire was sure he was right for standing before him was clearly an angel. He shakes his head slightly and swallows. He will not be attracted to his sister’s boyfriend.   
            “Antoinette has brought Julien for dinner.” His mother says. Jeez, thinks Grantaire, thanks for clearing that up.   
            Throughout the evening Grantaire watches Enjolras, the way that you watch nature documentaries, out of pure fascination of something of clearly a different species. He wills himself several times to stop thinking of him in such a way. Grantaire is feeling almost jealous of Annie until the argument starts.  
            It was nothing at first. A quipped comment when Enjolras was explaining his plan to try to change the world, turned into a full scaled argument. “I’m just saying posting pictures around the college isn’t going to completely change the system and beliefs in the management!” Grantaire yelled over bread rolls.   
            “And I’m just saying that I’m doing a hell of a lot more to at least _try_ to make it a less hostile environment than you are shooting everyone else down!”  Enjolras had shouted back over the pepper shakers. The pair was yelling for no more than five minutes when Annie stepped in.   
            “Guys come on, it doesn’t matter. Do you really need to shout over this?” She pleaded, glancing at her parents who glared at Grantaire with blatant disapproval.   
            “You’re right, it doesn’t matter.” Grantaire sighed but the fire in Enjolras’ eyes didn’t die. He eventually rose from his seat.   
            “Thank you for inviting me.” He addresses to the parents “Antoinette I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kisses her cheek before leaving and ignoring Grantaire completely. Annie rushes after him, leaving Grantaire alone with his parents.   
            “Son, I wish you wouldn’t be so cynical.” His father says, rising from his seat and collecting the plates. “I don’t agree with half the pollycock spewing from that boy’s mouth but have the decency to pretend like you believe will you? It’s not fair on your sister.”  He disappears from the dining room and metaphorically tags his mother into the discussion.  
            “He’s a nice boy is Julien. Antoinette doesn’t need you screwing this up for her because of your inability to please people. Sometimes, Yves, you’ve just got to put your beliefs, or lack of, aside.” She places a hand on his shoulder. “Please do apologise for your behaviour.”  
            Instead Grantaire to trudges to his room and buries his head in the pillows and considers what all the fuss had been about Enjolras. Sure he was beautiful, or wickedly hot, but Grantaire found it hard to understand how anyone could have so much hope for justice.   
            He isn’t sure how long it is before Annie appears next to his bed. “Don’t worry.” She says, “He’ll calm down. You’ll like him if you can manage to have a normal conversation with him.”   
            “Yeah, everyone else does.” Grantaire muttered.  
            “And what’s that supposed to mean Yves?” She asks annoyance clear in her voice. Grantaire winces at the use of his first name, something only his parents did. “He’s a good guy, you’re just too stubborn to see it”  
            “And he’s too stubborn to see he will fail!” He retorts. For a moment it looks as though she’s about to burst into tears. Grantaire sighs before patting the bed next to him like he’d done the night before. “I’ll apologise tomorrow.” He tells her.  
            “Thank you.” She briefly lays her head on his shoulder before straightening up. “You know, if you really don’t get along with him maybe I should just call it off…”  
            “Are you kidding? No! Annie you cannot do that!” He all but cries “You are happy with him and he thinks so much of you, please Annie don’t give that up because of me.”  
            “You’re right.” She says, standing up and walking to the door. The yellow light of the hallway cuts through the darkness of his own room “Those extra ten minutes make you so wise.” She lightly mocks before slipping out the door. The yellow light disappears as the door clicks shut.  
            Grantaire decides that he must be damned. And if he was damned than clearly Enjolras was the God amongst mortals who’d damned him so.

**Author's Note:**

> So I had this idea a while ago and it's probably going to involve a lot of gray areas... So anyway I'm going to try to update as often as possible. Let me know what you think.


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